I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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