It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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