no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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