I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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