bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
