Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
