It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
