True but thats because hes a fetus.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
