so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
