No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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