i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I want to be your penis for a week.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
