I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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