So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
