This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
