This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Bring me that man meat
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
