Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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