P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
