do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
