I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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