Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
