just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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