I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
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