i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
