she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
