I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
