I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
