I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
3 2 1 whiskey
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
