Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
