This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
