everyone is single if you try hard enough
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
