we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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