If i come over, it means nothing
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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