she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Randomize
