oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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