I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
