the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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