I wanna bring you to show and tell
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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