I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
