i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
