Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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