don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
