found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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