she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
