I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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