ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
