what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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