then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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