This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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