seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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