Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Randomize
