I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
