I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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